The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
