I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
