he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
