Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
