my vag is so smooth its legendary
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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