Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
