He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
