I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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