She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
