i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
