So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize