But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So many bounce houses so little time
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
