My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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