There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
