Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize