2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
