Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
