went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
