Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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