i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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