I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
