it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
