She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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