I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
