oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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