As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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