Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
