party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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