What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
