A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
a search helicopter?!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
