he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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