dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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