I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
