it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
