Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
