he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
