how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
