I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
