Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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