Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
