capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Come back. Shots need mouths.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
