ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
