My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
