everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Farmville is her only friend.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
