he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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