I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
