the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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