Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
