I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize