Screwed.edu
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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