Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
