you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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