I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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