Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
