"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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