'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
