Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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