Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
