No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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