maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
