He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
