I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
