dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
