But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize