he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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