She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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