The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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