HIV tests are more positive than that guy
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
