We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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