I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You work out of a Hotel?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
