just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
