there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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