I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
