I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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