roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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