Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
