i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
