they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
